Saturday, April 29, 2006

More Thoughts on Wedding Day Modesty

I don't normally draw attention to comments posted on the site, but the following by a young lady named Juli who wrote in response to someone who disgreed with the previous post was particularly insightful. She writes,

Dear sister, your comment saddened me deeply. I can understand where you're coming from, as I too am a young woman who has dreamed of marriage for a long time. But by God's grace I've been learning that along with a healthy dream of marriage can come many selfish desires of my heart that must be distrusted. You said "A woman's wedding day, man, if there's one day in which she deserves to feel sexy and feminine and beautiful, it's that day." Now I believe in honoring brides, but the fact of the matter is that the day I am a bride, the only thing I "deserve" will still be hell and I will still be saved from it. Anytime we talk about what we "deserve" we are entering into dangerous territory. If I as a bride were to start off my WEDDING day with an attitude built around what I've dreamed of, what I deserve, what I am capable of deciding, and what I FEEL comfortable in, I should fear greatly for my MARRIAGE. Marriage is about the opposite of those things (how can I help my husband fulfill his dreams, how can I honor him, how can I cheerfully submit to his decisions, how can I offer him comfort?) and the beauty of the arrangement is that he will be striving to honor me in the same way. I so desire that someday my wedding will be a day celebrating not my body nor anything about me, but the God who has so graciously given me a husband with whom to become one. Sister, I humbly ask that you search your heart (how easily our hearts deceive us) and ask God to show you the truth (which very often He does through those in our church). It's not "about how I feel." It's about honoring the God who sent his Son to save us by obeying His command to "honor others above yourselves." I need to make protecting my brothers a priority higher than my own desires, not even on my wedding day, but especially on my wedding day: the day when a lifetime of striving for purity is being rewarded with the gift that I've been saving my body for all along. Wearing a pure and modest wedding gown IS celebrating my body in the God-intended way -- declaring to all what God's intention is for our sexuality. All for my husband! God will bless those brides who put their brothers above themselves. I know many women who can attest to that. And I know from talking to many of my brothers that they deeply appreciate women whose fashion philosophy is that Godliness of beautiful!


Thank you, Juli, for your love for the Savior and your deep desire to honor Him.

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